


everything goes

by transtlanticism



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Fix-It, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Post Praimfaya, algae - Freeform, im fixing this shit, in which jasper survives and goes to space with the gang, make algae not war
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-18
Updated: 2018-07-18
Packaged: 2019-06-12 08:55:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15336330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transtlanticism/pseuds/transtlanticism
Summary: “Sometimes,” Monty said, “I wonder if there is anyone I’m right for.”Jasper glanced at him.“I thought I found that person once,” he said. “But I never knew what to say.”Post-Praimfaya. Jasper survives his suicide attempt and goes to space with the rest of them.





	everything goes

“Hey, Monty?”

Jasper sat at the window, four days after they docked on the Ring, moonlight illuminating his features. 

Monty hesitated. 

“Yeah?” he asked.

Jasper swallowed, the only tell in his face that he was feeling anything at all.

“Why,” he said quietly, “did you bring me with you?”

“Because you’re my best friend,” Monty snapped fiercely, prepared to defend the choice he’d made. “Because I couldn’t leave you behind.”

Jasper huffed slightly. 

“Well, you didn’t,” he said. “I’ll give you that.”

He turned to face the window again. “You don’t have to keep watching me, you know,” he added. “I’m not planning to throw myself out the airlock.”

“Raven would probably find a way to put a stop to that.”

Jasper unpeeled himself from the window. “Was that a joke?”

Monty raised an eyebrow. Didn’t answer. 

“That was a joke!” Jasper raised both hands above his head in silent celebration. “That’s the spirit. Can’t waste six years up here in morose silence.”

“Jasper, come on.” Monty took a step closer to him, in the way one might approach a wounded animal. Jasper’s expression darkened.

“Jesus, Monty, I’m not a time bomb.”

“You were,” Monty said, and his voice was thinned by sadness. “And there’s no way to know if you’re defused, or if you’re just ticking silently.”

…

Monty and Harper had found him by the window, taking in shallow breaths. Moving quickly, they had scooped him up and thrown him in the back of the Rover. 

He hadn’t woken up until the oxygen kicked in, with the eight of them safely on the Ring. By that point, Monty had wondered if he was dragging around a corpse.

But Jasper had woken up, with something like betrayal in his eyes, and refused to speak until everyone left him alone except Bellamy.

On the second day, he’d found a razor and shaved off his beard. By the third, he was eating again, but he still wouldn’t look anyone in the eye. 

He didn't look Monty in the eye.

He didn't look at him at all.

…

By the end of the first week, Jasper was sleeping on the mat they used for training.

“It’s too cramped,” he told Raven when she found him out there one morning. “I miss the open sky.”

“It’s all around us,” she replied. 

“So float me,” he suggested.

She glared at him. “Float yourself.”

…

After day 18, Monty joined him on the mat.

“What are you doing here?” Jasper asked sleepily. 

Monty shrugged. “What are you doing here?”

He didn’t mean the mat. He meant the Ring, he meant space, he meant life itself, and Jasper knew it.

“I’m here because of you.” It didn’t sound as accusatory as usual, and Monty rolled over to face him.

“And I’m here,” Monty told him, “because of you.”

On the ring, in space, in life itself.

“Are you just going to keep repeating everything I say?” Jasper teased.

“Are you ever going to forgive me?”

“Forgive you?” Jasper glanced at Monty. “For what?”

“For bringing you with me,” Monty said quietly. “For not letting you go.”

Jasper stretched his arms above his head.

“I’m a bit of a work-in-progress,” he said. “A time bomb, some might say.”

Monty winced.

“You’re not a time bomb,” he said heavily. “You’re the best person I’ve ever known.”

Jasper stared at the ceiling.

“I’m tired, Monty,” he said finally. “I’m just—I’m really, really tired.”

“I know,” Monty whispered, and reached out his hand, and Jasper took it.

…

It was like watching a wound scab over—sometimes it was painful, and sometimes it was discouraging, because you knew it was going to turn into a giant scar, and sometimes it was just tedious.

Whenever Jasper shut himself in his room, they’d give him an hour before one of them went in to get him—usually Monty, but sometimes Bellamy, or Harper, or Raven. Once, Emori went in, and when she brought him out, Jasper had a look of amusement on his face. 

When Monty and Emori volunteered to learn how to spacewalk, Jasper’s head shot up.

“Can I?” he asked. 

Raven’s face briefly registered surprise, but she nodded. “Yeah,” she said. “Of course.”

Jasper shot Monty a quick grin. “Open sky,” he said. “It’s all there.”

…

When he wasn’t training with Echo, or working with Raven, Jasper threw himself into the algae farm, heart and soul. 

A few months had passed, and his hair was starting to grow out again, and he almost looked like his old self—a little older, a little sadder, fighting to keep from slipping over the edge.

“It’s like swimming to shore,” he said one night, as he lay next to Monty on the training room mat. (By then, they’d dragged Jasper’s mattress out to put on top of it.) “I can see everyone else on the beach, but it would be so easy to let the waves pull me back out to sea. Everything goes with them—everything else I love, and sometimes I think I should let them take me, too.”

Monty squeezed his hand.

“Waves are supposed to carry you in,” he said thoughtfully.

Jasper snorted. “I guess my waves are backward.”

They both guffawed, and Monty felt something stir in his chest, something that made him want to reach out, and hold onto his best friend, and never let him go.

…

He’d seen the end coming with Harper for weeks, as she spent more and more time with Echo and Emori, and less time with him. He’d taken to sleeping in the hallway, not only for Jasper, but to give her her own space, and that turned out to be for the best when she ended it and moved in with Echo.

Monty stayed in his own room that night, sobbing quietly into a pillow, but Jasper cracked open the door a few hours later.

Monty glanced up at him, face streaked with tears, and Jasper didn’t say a word, stretching out next to him and wrapping his arms around his friend until long after his sobs had ceased and been replaced by the slow breathing of a deep sleep.

The next morning was better. Harper tentatively struck up a friendly conversation with Monty, and he grabbed the lifeline and held on.

“Listen,” she said quietly. “No matter what, we’re family.”

Raven snorted, covered it up with a cough. Harper narrowed her eyes. 

“What?” she asked defensively. “That’s what Finn and I said, too.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not going to go on a killing spree anytime soon,” Monty said dryly, and Harper gave him a small smile.

“Do you really believe it?” Jasper asked him later that night, hands tucked behind his head. “What she said, about you being family?”

“Yes. She is family,” Monty said. “We just weren’t right for each other. Not that way.”

Jasper was quiet.

“Sometimes,” Monty said, “I wonder if there is anyone I’m right for.”

Jasper glanced at him.

“I thought I found that person once,” he said. “But I never knew what to say.”

“I guess that ship sailed,” Monty said quietly, and Jasper winced slightly but didn’t respond.

…

As the months passed, Jasper was like a fire, growing steadily brighter. 

“You can move back in with me,” Bellamy offered. “If you don’t feel like sleeping on the training mat anymore.”

“Or me,” Monty offered quickly. “I’ve got an extra space.”

“Or I could keep sleeping on the training room mat,” Jasper suggested.

“You will not,” Echo said firmly. “You’re crushing the life out of it. Go sleep on a real bed.”

And that was how Jasper ended up moving into Monty’s room.

“It’s kind of weird,” he said, sitting on Harper’s bed, “sleeping so far away from you.”

Monty felt blood rise to his cheeks.

“You could sleep over here,” he said. 

“Hey, Monty?”

“Yeah?”

Jasper looked as if he were about to say something, but he shook his head. “Never mind.”

…  
And it was going well, until Jasper’s first spacewalk went wrong.

“Goddamn it!” Raven shouted from the control panel. “Jasper, there’s a problem—your oxygen level is dropping fast. Get to the airlock!”

“What’s going on?” Monty demanded, racing after Bellamy and Emori as Jasper collapsed into the airlock, out of air and breathless. Emori quickly shut the outer door and scrubbed the airlock before opening the inner door.

Monty ripped Jasper’s helmet off. “What the hell went wrong out there?”

Jasper was sucking in oxygen, on the verge of losing consciousness. “Some sort of…defect with…the suit…I guess.” He gave Monty a lazy grin. “Nothing like a little space emergency to remind you you’re alive, right?”

“Fuck you,” Monty gasped. “Fuck you, you asshole—you can’t do that to me, you can’t leave me—“

Jasper was breathing hard, his face flushed, inhaling the oxygen. “I didn’t,” he croaked. “I won’t.”

Their eyes locked, and Monty cupped his face with one hand and kissed him, feeling truly at peace for the first time since they’d landed on the Ring.

“Took you long enough,” Jasper mumbled.

…

Jasper made Monty feel like he was slightly lacking oxygen every day.

Every time their eyes met, his heart pounded, and his breathing quickened, and his hands lost their grip.

They kissed in inky darkness, and brushed hands over the algae, and shared quick smiles by the window, and sometimes they still lay on the training mat on nights where they couldn’t sleep, plagued by dreams and memories of the people they’d left behind.

“Hey, Monty,” Jasper said one night, curled up next to him, facing the window, watching the darkened sky.

“Yeah?”

“Why did you bring me with you, again?”

“Because I couldn’t leave you behind,” Monty said, smiling slightly. “Because I love you.”

Jasper’s arm tightened around his shoulders, breathing him in as they drifted closer to sleep.

“You didn’t,” he whispered. “You never left me behind.”

**Author's Note:**

> i'm on tumblr!! @bellarkabby


End file.
